juicy red heart

sometimes i get so wound up in life that i want to slowly push my hand through my chest and touch my

heart. i wanna touch my heart so badly. i want to massage it and remind it that it’s alive. that it has felt and

it has bled and it has repaired itself. i wanna touch my heart and feel all the people who’ve ever touched

it. i want my heart to guide me. i want it to talk to me and to heal me. i want my heart. i want to celebrate

with it and i want to cry with it. i want it to lean on me and warm me and i want me and my juicy red

heart to best friends. i don’t want to be scared of it anymore.

sometimes i forget how much love i have to give

sometimes i mourn the love ive given

the love i am no longer allowed to give

i mourn and mourn

And all this time

my heart has mourned with me

my beautiful red heart

i’m tired of running from it

i’m tired of shaming it

i want this heart to feel like home

i want it to whisper secrets to me at night through my dreams in my most ethereal state

i want my heart

i want my fucking heart

and one of these damn days

it’s gonna come to me and it's going to love me and i will love her and we will be blissful and we’ll sit on

an old porch, both worn out because of time.

And i will know that my life has been understood by something, my life will be understood by my heart

it will be understood by me

And that's all i really need.

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Cover Photo by Allec Gomes.